Mia didn't know why she agreed to meet Derrick at Grind that afternoon. She had been trying so hard to get rid of him, to get him to just leave her alone. Yes, she still had feelings for him, but feelings weren't enough. She had to much on her plate to worry about someone else.
She had a speech rehearsed. She was going to tell him that once she beat this there may be a shot at them, but as things were now, there was no chance. He had to just leave her alone. Give her a chance to clear her head and focus on getting better. She couldn't have the stress of him following her around, pressuring her into a relationship she couldn't handle.
Then Derrick walked in, that desperate but hopeful look on his handsome face. The way he looked across the cafe, his eyes desperately seeking her.
It was all gone. The speech, the strength. It had all melted away.
She grabbed her purse and her coffee and stood up, trying to get out of there as quickly as possible. She couldn't face him.
"Mia!" His voice was hopeful. He rushed over to her.
She turned, not smiling. She couldn't give him any hope. The fact that she had shown up was to much.
"I can't do this Derrick." She looked him in the eyes. "Loose my number, don't call me. Don't stop by my apartment. I don't want to see you."
She watched as that joyful, hopeful looking on his face crumbled. She could see the twitch on the side of his mouth that signalled the coming tears.
"I thought..." His voice was soft.
She had never seen him like this. He was always so confident, cocky. He had a smile that would make people melt, and an attitude that would drive people to drink. Now he was near tears.
"I just came here to tell you to leave me alone." She turned away from him, rushing out of Grind. She couldn't let him see her cry.
He wouldn't be so heart broken if he knew the truth. If she had told him who she really was, what she really was, he would shun her, abandon her. She had to do it first.
Out on the street the tears came, but she didn't stop. She couldn't allow herself that moment to just collapse against a brick wall in an alley, sobbing, and blaming God for all the crap in her life. She couldn't have her perfect TV movie break down moment.
There wasn't time, and she knew she hadn't earned it. She was a liar, a fraud. She was hurting Derrick now, but she would hurt him even more if she told him that she wasn't always the woman he saw before him.
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