Paul hobbled his way into the family room, his side giving him little reminders to take his time as he walked. He seemed like he had stepped into his past when he saw the room, magazines strewn all over the floor, Carla laughing as she flipped the pages. William sat there, watching her, his eyes lighting up every time she smiled. He was a new edition to their group, but he seemed as if he had always been there.
"You two kids behaving?" He found his way to the large couch and sat down, his body groaning as he sat.
"What’s it to you?" Carla looked back at him, a mischievous look in her eye. "You’re not going to start the whole devoted, protective husband act this late in the game are you?"
He laughed, not even the pain in his side stopping the joyous noise from escaping his lips.
"When are you two finalizing that divorce any ways?" William leaned back on his hands, his eyes moving from Carla to Paul.
"Soon." Paul glanced around the room, his eyes falling on the old stereo, a stack of CD’s sitting next to it. "Why? You planning on making the moves on my wife?"
"With your permission of course." William laughed, looking at Carla.
She gave him a scowl and tossed a magazine at William’s head, just missing by an inch.
Paul stood, making his way towards the stereo. He hit the power button, and was glad to see the thing come to life. He hit play, and Bonnie Raitt’s sweet, raspy voice filled the room.
"You guys listened to this stuff?" William laid back.
For a few seconds they he almost looked like a teenage version of himself.
He didn’t know why, but that image made him choke up a bit. He was suddenly realizing how much time he had waisted in that room, out on the docks, in the lake. He was so scared that he had never let anything really happen between him and Roy. He had spent so many years afraid that he had denied himself the only thing that seemed to give him strength lately.
Still, there was one memory he had held on to from those days, the one perfect moment he had experienced in his life before reality crashed through, and everything hit the fan.
It had been the end of summer leading into his senior year. He, Julie, Roy, Carla and Brian had spent the day down on the dock, swimming in the lake, listening to music, and of course getting drunk.
Julie’s father had been out of town, so they had actually been able to spend some time in the house. The sun had set, and everyone, buzzed, had decided they needed food. He and Roy had slipped off while everyone was cooking.
At first they had just talked, and then Roy had decided that they needed some music.
It was the same song as they were listening to now.
They had just sat there, in the dark, the music flowing out of the speakers. They didn’t say a word, just sat there. Paul didn’t know why he had gotten up, but he had. He took Roy’s hand in his, and they just stood there, swaying, holding on to each other.
At the time Paul had blamed the beer, but looking back on it, he knew the truth. He knew then that in that moment he had been completely and totally at peace. There was no conflict, no pressure. He had just let go, and been happy for five minutes.
"Hey, Paul, you should take it easy."
Roy’s voice snapped him back to the present.
Paul didn’t speak, he just walked over to Roy, taking his hand, leading him to the middle of the room. Then, letting Roy take the lead, they repeated that same gentle sway they had all those years ago.
"Well, isn’t that sweet." Carla laughed.
"Don’t make fun." William stood, holding out his hand. "Care to dance?"
Paul looked over, and could see Carla smiling. She had never smiled that way for him, and he knew why. They had been together because it was convenient.
Nothing in any of their lives was convenient anymore, but necessary, and Paul knew that this moment, this bit of peaceful, perfect bliss, was what they needed to build themselves up. It united them, connected them, and made them stronger against whatever force was building up against them.
He closed his eyes, leaning his head against Roy’s shoulder.
"You remembered." Roy’s voice was a soft whisper in his ear.
Paul answered by gently kissing Roy’s neck, pulling him closer, letting their bodies touch so close, in a way he had been afraid of back in high school.
The song ended, but they didn’t stop.
When Paul opened his eyes he could see that Roy and he were alone.
"Where’d they go?" He wrapped his arms around Roy’s waist.
"Don’t know." Roy smiled, leading Paul towards the couch.
They lay down, their bodies resting against each other, finding peace in the warmth.
The reality of their current situation suddenly hit Paul like a hammer to the head. This could be their last perfect moment. Some cult was about to steal the chance for more of this, more of life away from them.
He leaned his back against Roy’s chest, taking Roy’s hand in his. He kissed the palm, then let it rest on his chest. He closed his eyes, letting the sound of Roy’s heartbeat lull him to sleep.
-*-
Carla led William up the main staircase, towards the small guest room she had claimed for herself earlier.
Once inside she didn’t know what took over, but she threw herself, full force at William.
The next few moments seemed a blur of flying clothes and bare flesh.
As she and William made love she let go. She gave into him completely, and let him take over. For her that was the greatest sacrifice she had ever made for anyone, but for William it seemed right. She felt safe, strong.
For once everything felt right.
-*-
Julie had let a small peck grow, deepen, until she and Roxanne found themselves lost in their kiss. It had shocked Julie how easy it was to let Roxanne in.
Roxanne took a step back, breaking there embrace. Her face was flushed, her lipstick smeared.
"I’ve never done this before." Her voice shook, but not from fear.
Julie could see the want, the need in Roxanne’s eyes. It had been so long since she had seen that look in another woman’s eyes. Her last girlfriend had been cold, distant. They had stayed together out of sheer need for the status of a relationship, nothing more. They had seemed to drift apart slowly, and soon she found herself single again without even realizing it.
"It’s okay." Julie held back the urge to grab Roxanne. She would let her make the next move. "You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to."
Julie watched Roxanne struggle with her thoughts for a few seconds, and then, without warning, they were locked at the lips again.
Their hands began to wander, explore each other.
They lay on the deck, connected. They were one unified body, moving in perfect rhythm to the signals that their bodies gave off.
Julie felt her shirt come off, then her bra. The cool night’s air felt amazing against her skin. As it mixed with the heat of Roxanne pressing against her she felt every nerve go on high alert.
Sex, making love, had never been like this before. It had always seemed to lack passion. There was attraction, but at that moment Julie finally felt fully connected to her partner.
When they had finished they just lay there, naked underneath the stars.
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